Bendis Avengers Rewind: New Avengers #27

New Avengers #27

"Revolution Part One, Ronin #2"

We are starting in the post-Civil War era of Nu Avengers as we pick up on what Echo (Maya Lopez) is doing in Japan as "Ronin" since we last saw her. She can still hear, despite her deafness and playing the role of Yakuza groupie by day and Ronin, cross-dressing super-ninja by night. Echo of course is using the Ronin suit because everyone figured out that Ronin was Bendis's lame-ass way to sneak the last of his pet characters, Daredevil, onto the book via a cheat.

Echo chuckles about the whole "Who is Echo?" thing while watching super-hero versus super-hero battling on tv and whines that she's now alone since the whole reason she kept the Bendis's dream fetish suit was because she wanted to help the Avengers out and alert them to the goings on of the Japanese mafia. Because, out of all of the threats to humanity, it's the YAKUZA that keep the Avengers awake at night, having collective nightmares of middle-aged, balding Japanese suit and tie guys coming into America and bombing Pearl Harbor and killing the Adult Swim executives who ruined Toonami.

Sadly, one of Echo's nightly fights bring the Hand and Elektra into the mix as they suprise attack her. We get lip service from Echo about what a bad-ass Elektra is as Elektra kicks her ass and stabs her with a sai, allowing her to take Echo prisoner so that she can be brainwashed into serving the Hand. Oh yeah, and Echo's deaf but you know what? Bendis keeps writing her like she isn't and that makes the whole thing even more retarded when you point out how you can't even be fucking bothered to fucking WRITE A DEAF PERSON CORRECTLY! Maybe Bendis thinks deaf=def, as in slang or some shit.

The Hand throw LSD crystals into the pit and Echo starts tripping as Elektra says it takes three days for the LSD crystals to brainwash someone. But then BLAM! A wall gets broken down and it's the Nu-Nu Avengers! Luke Cage, Wolverine, black costume Spider-Man, her royal skrull majesty "Spider-Woman", Doctor Strange, Iron Fist, and... Ronin?????

We banter where Spider-Man is all "I LOVE NINJAS!" and Wolverine who calls him on his sudden change of mind, as if to set this whole exchange up as a callback to some previous denouncement of ninjas that I can't recall off the top of my head. Apparently, House of M and Civil War changed Peter's mind about the lameness of ninjas or just the fact that battling ninjas is far better than dealing with Bendis butcher John Byrne's aborted Avengers storylines and Mark Millar's wholesale hackery and character ruination of half of the Marvel Universe. But not this reader, who wonders why the hell must we endure Bendis's lame-ass "What if Frank Miller wrote the Justice League versus ninjas" fan fiction.

There is also talk about matching outfits so that they all look like Doctor Strange and blah blah blah and Ronin #2 asks if the team always makes lame-ass small talk during battle. At least since Bendis took over the book. Iron Fist joins in, calling Spider-Man Spidey and Doctor Strange tries to use his magic to end the battling then and there, but since Bendis is writing this, he's as impotent as usual.

Elektra corners Luke Cage and Luke kicks Elektra in the cunt. IN THE CUNT! Sadly, we don't get the Nu-Nu Avengers singing out loud the "Kick in the Cunt" song from the film "Run Ronnie Run", as a nation wonders if we need any further evidence that Bendis is a woman-hating asshole.

Spidey gets Echo out of the pit and she asks Ronin #2 if it he's Daredevil, but it's not since Ed Brubaker doesn't want to have to put up with Bendis' bullshit and having to base his entire run around Bendis's dream perv suit. Doctor Strange meanwhile finally does something right and gets a teleportation spell going, as Elektra vows that the Nu-Nu Avengers will never leave Japan alive.

Final Thoughts: Not as bad as I remembered but the story is weak and Avengers Vs Ninjas is boring as hell. Remember when the Avengers fought real villains? Even the Collector, Deviants, or the Triune Understanding is better than ninjas.